The Enemy Within

I fight myself on a daily basis
It's not that I hate myself, per se;
it’s that I still see all the faces
of all those who went before
who put me on “ignore”
or far, far worse

I am my own worst enemy at times
still listening to invisible demons
If you read between my lines
you’ll see I don’t always vote for freedom
It’s too easy to be overcome
to just succumb
to those dark, sweet whispers

So the battle rages on inside of me
mostly in waking, sometimes more in sleeping
I am unable to set myself free –
maybe temporarily –
until I once more end up weeping
no kind thoughts for safe keeping
just darkness and pain
again and again.

© 30/07/2015.

Today She Died

You would have thought
she’d learnt her lesson by now
all the uncaring fools
who’d gotten a piece of her somehow

Yet first she cried

She was wrong again
his fists said to her
this time he’d make
the pain last forever

She couldn’t survive

And he didn’t stop
even when her screams ceased
pounding out pools of blood
until she was deceased

So today, she died.

© 29/07/2015.

Living

Open your mind
to the possibilities inside
all the wonders and joy
that you like to hide
all those impossible moments
you would never have felt
if you’d just let yourself
stay on that shelf
if you’d never allowed
yourself to feel
all the happy moments
that can be real
you’d still be sitting there
alone and crying
so unhappy
thinking of dying
if you’d never allowed
yourself to believe
that you could let
yourself truly live.

© 21/07/2015.

You Don't Know Me

I am many things
fleeting colours, sounds
sometimes remembered –
I get around
But you don’t know me

My outward face
the never-shifting mask
rarely seen beyond
and few who ask
But you don’t see me

I am darkness
I am pain
but beauty
for those who remain
But not
you

In blindness
you stumble away
I set you free
You will never
know
me.

© 17/07/2015.

Wake Me Not

Let me sleep and never wake
lest my soul do further break
Let me die within a dream
to save me from my inner scream
All the broken thoughts within my mind
the reminders of so much lost time
Silent turmoil that's never ending
torn limbs can do no more bending
The storm has reached its heady height
soon there'll be only eternal night
So if I happen to never wake
it's because the saving came too late.

© 06/04/2015.

Come What May

Whispers, remnants
slowly dying
Another day
full of long sighing
In wakefulness
we're far from our best
But even in sleep
we find no rest

Tortured soul
eternally crying
Singing winds
forever lying
A voice, it says
how we are blessed
Though we fear
it does nothing but jest

We drift away
emptiness on all sides
Impossible to find
some place to hide
From the black of night
that lives in day
That ensures we can never
find our way

The water we drown in
is too wide
All help and hope
has slowly died
Yet still we look for
one person to say
That they’ll always be there
come what may.

© 25/03/2015.

Stormy Seas

The waves roll high
on the seas of regret
reminding me of things
I thought I’d never forget
Bringing back to my eyes
scenes long past
wonders and longing –
I’m lashed to its mast.

My ship brought me back
to visit your shore
to give me one last look
at what went before
Now it moves me forward
fights hard against the wind
until the memories are forgotten
and the pain once more dimmed.

© 23/02/2014.

Truth and Lies

The truth, a stinging whiplash
that cauterises my wounds
Its light of burning amber
is burnt out all too soon.
What I once believed
is now something I can’t afford
All because of someone
who was too lazy to lock their door.
Happiness that was hard won
now thrown as food to the birds
All those memories I’d held dear
now just rancid milk curds.
You told me that there was nothing
more real than the two of us
But now I look upon the lies
of the fairy tale that never was.

© 15/06/2012.